How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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