I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
