If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
