I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
