I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
