her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
