does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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