That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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