oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
