girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
