Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
