dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
