I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
