just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
