We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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