She is in my trunk
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
