Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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