that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
