I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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