The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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