i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
