Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he was CRYING into my vagina
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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