I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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