When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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