Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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