Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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