She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
