I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
