The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
