It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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