i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
