tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
