you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
