Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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