i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
