I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
