I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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