Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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