But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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