BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
