I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
