You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
