he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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