I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
