he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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