wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
