please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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