I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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