Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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