We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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