Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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