census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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